48th post...

jus leave me alone.


theres nothing i could live for...
the onlyy thing tht kept me frm killing myself is my parents.
i think they wud be the onlyy ones whos wud care...

im tired of the lies and fakings in life.
lies and lies.....
promises tht alwayys ended up broken.
why bother?
wadd the use?

yoo all said yoo wud never leave...
but yet...they still left...

i cant remember wadd happened on sundayy,
decided not to...
soooo lets jus start frm monday,

-mondayy=o:-
i cant remember oso..O:

-tuesdayy=i shouldn't haf called yoo-
hmmms...i dont rmb wadd happened in skool...
but some stuff happened...
ands.....yeah....
cried and cried....3?4hrs?
called HL...shouldnt have...

whys?

firstlyy,im nothing to him, why should he cm 'entertain' me
second, i showed him my vulnerable side... i made me look pitiful...i dont want tht...
thirdly... it actually hurt more.... when he asked me wadds wrong... i actuallyy started crying again and had the impulse to take up the pen-knife.
fourth, it embarrasing...to face him on the next dayy...
fifth? he could haf told somebodyy... and laughed bout it tgt... mock at me or sumthing.

well....yeah?
felt tht wayy...
after a while...i think i fell asleep or sumthing...
idk?

-wednesdayy=pretended like nothing happen/reallyy dont wan seniors to leave.):-
last drama session...);):):);
saddddd....
acted the last playy of the session...

dont wanna comment anything bout the sec1 drama mem.

then wanted to take MRT to tampines uncle's huse.
but went to meet daddy at simei's popular.
bought pencils, erasers, pen refill, the two 10yr series science books.
still need to get POA pad, correction tape refill, deodorant and.............i not sure.
daddy send me to uncle's place...
eat dinner...
then go hme..

-thursday=fun,tiring....WET..-
hmmms.....todayy...maths teacher never cm....
art teacher oso never cm...
soooo yeah...waited fer PJ and sharon
went work out at gym...frm 4pm to 5.30pm...
sweat and sweat...disgusting.
then it was raining..
PJ and sharon needed buy some stuff frm NTUC sooooo went with them..
me shared umbrella with sharon, PJ have her own...
thou got umbrella still got wet..
saw tis uber cute innocent looking boy...
PJ and sharon agreed with me..hahahaha (;
bought the stuff...then again...went to uncle's place...
nothing much.

-fridayy=fucking pissed off-
met PJ at 6:20am...
at mai huse downstair...
took bus70 to seragoon stadium...
actuallyy we arrived too earlyy...but yeah..sat there, listening to music.
blahblahblah..
watched the races...
nothing much...
bought potato chips...
then got tis few sec1? boys...damn fucking irritating and kam pa.
poured water down the steps....made my back all wet..
ji bai kia la..
then dont even kno how eat properlyy...drop here and there...
dirtyy the whole place..
still dont wanna throw awayy.

wtf la..
this yr...sec1s.....damn sucky...
one of the suckiest fucked upp batch...
after the sec2s...(except drama mem,)
the rest all SUCKS..totally.
pathetic small imbeciles...
haiz.....
after finish...
sharon 'treat' us...cab. (;

thanks sharon (;

cab to her huse..
then took bus to PJ huse there...
waited fer bus...
then got tis bus...got some peeps inside..
one of them i recognised....ish drama de...
but they....once saw me...all waved hi....
in the end i only was onlyy waving to the one i recognised..get it? no?
nehminds ^^ haha

went hme..
mum was at hme..
took bath..
then went to sleep..
till 4.30pm...
went out..
eat sushii. nicenice.
then went hme....
slept earlyy..


it frightens me to kno haf the feeling tht we are drifting apart...