8th post...

maybe everything was jus a mistake

gosh! tis wud b ultra looonnngg~
its been soooooooooooooooooooosoooooooooooosooooooo long since i blog.... >>'''
hahaha...
soooooo lemme start frm......wen skool starts......
hmmmmms,a summarised version...........

i met mai new classmates...most of dem i knew frm past yrs but there were 2boys i totally didnt kno they exsisted....HL and aakash.ahahahaha...well...they are retains la..soooo yeah..first thing came to mai mind...pai kia..hahaha...sorries guys. xDDD
but aft getting to kno dem more..dey r really nice peeps..hahaha..
anyways then came our sec3 camp hahaha...its was really FUN....thou tiring coz we talk all nite(was sleeping beside priya and sharon....basically th whole clique slept tgt :D) and still wake upp at 5am... smelly coz we had only 3mins to bath fer 2nites ><'' totally gross...but overall was funfunfun!! hahaha...and guess wadd! we won most outstanding class award!!! hahaha..totally unexpected...>.>''' the outdoor games were thrilling ands lots of fun!!! especially kayaking wen MS kept scolding me as i was paddling the wrong side..GHAHAHAHA..xDDD and the flying fox was cool too thou it could b higher..and the campfire was awesome wit camp cheers and the CHICKEN DANCE!!!.ahahahah..i love dem all...wish there wud b another camp like tis next time..xP




hmmmms...the next few days...was terrible..ahahaha...everywhere hurts and i was totally beat...and mai voice was almost gone.><''' thou i miss the campsite.....but still....nothing could b compared to mai own bed!!! ahahahaha...

wen we got bac to skool......it was time to study!!!! sianz....im kinda lost in geography class.....till nows...T.T its pathetic.. hahaha..anyways yeah.....became really good friends wit HL....thou sometimes hes kinda annoying in a funny way....hahaha...

yeah...soo the rest of the days was......studying,studying,hanging out wit friends and clique, HL, aaron....uhm....uhmmms.....yeah....thts all........bout it....

sumthing random....


when a GIRL is quiet...
millions of things are running in her mind
when a GIRL is not arguing,
shes thinking deeply.
when a GIRL looks at you with eyes full of questions...
she is wondering how long you wud be around
when a GIRL answers "im fiine" after a few seconds
she is not at all fine.
when a GIRL stares at you...
shes wondering why yoo are lying
when a GIRL lays on your chest....
she is wishing for you to be hers forever
when a GIRL calls you everydayy...
she is seeking for your attention
when a girl sms yoo everydayy...
she wants you to reply at least once.
when a GIRL sayys i love yoo...
she really means it..
when a GIRL says she cant live without yoo...
she has made up her mind thet you're her future.
when a GIRL says "i miss yoo"
no one in this world can miss yoo more then tht....
--------------------------------end.

7th post!!!

okays...didnt have much time to blog...tis would be SOOO LONG..
let me start frm tues...

-tuesday-
in the morning, woke up, on the com and then reply to some msg...then few hrs later, went over to A.T. place, and........ yeah then i went to meet up with priya...coz she want to get the appeal letter to appeal for a new sub. instead of FNN...den i needed to get the money and at the same time meet mrs tan to discuss wit the class party stuff... den we left skool and i went to A.T. huse to collect mie stuff to go bac hme......
then theres nothing much alr... NEXT!!!

-wednesday-day of the BBQ party...
early in the morning, i pack mie bag and check that i had all the money ready for the payment....then i took a bath and went out.....to A.T. place again...haha....we had fun playing his wii...then at 1.15pm, i wanted to leave his place coz i was meeting yuhung,ranjit,qianhui and jeanette at the library and i dont wanna b late...but A.T. thinking that there was STILL time...ask me to stay longer....in the end i only got out of the huse at 1.40pm.....and i was LATE!!!!
in the train, ranjit called me TWICE!! anyways i reach aljunied. and lucky for me, i wasnt scolded..haha...we collected the food and took MRT to payalebar.....got up the bus and off we go!!!!
soon after we got the bus and we walked a LONG distance...leg almost break T.T
anyways we reached...FINALLY!!!
and we started the fire...BUT... IT STARTED TO RAIN!!!! too bad....we waited...and waited...soon it became a drizzle..yeah!! :D
after several attempts....FINALLY!!! we stared a fire! we started BBQing...the clique and yuhung fanning fire.....soon it was 8plus...i asked dora to ask everyone to sign the card...then i passed to mrs tan b4 going off........ANYWAYS the party was GREAT FUN!!!

PICTURES!!!!!!






-thursday-
....
I FELL SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DONT WISH TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!! >.<

-friday-
.....
I WAS STILL SICK!!!!
BAD HEADACHE, DONT WANNA TALK BOUT IT TOO...
BUT...........THANKS TO CEECEE... SHE TOOK CARE OF ME!!! (;(:
and by 4plus...i felt well enough to go mie gor's bday!!! xDD
YIPEE!!!
its was SOOO FUN LORS.....

-saturday-
it was BORING...............

-sunday-
BORING TOOOO.....

soooo thats alll
sayo nara!!!

6th post...

forget it, let it go....

WHY ish ppl tht i noe getting HURT!!??

-1128-
just woke up...*yawns* my maid making soo much noise...

anyways let me start frm friday...

-friday-
in the morning, went to samuel's place for 'tuition'. its not really tuition coz it jus him volunteering to coach me in maths ><''' haha. furthermore, all my other friends were oso there making it impossible to study...ceecee, brandon, weilun, colin, connie, queenie, mandy, jonathan, jordan, nicolas, wayne, junwei, darren, A.T. and xavier, they all came... and in the end we ended up playing poker cards..haha..



but in the END...after dey all left, to give me some time to study....i studied..a BIT... only for 25mins...thats jordan^ helping me to solve maths problem (:...jordan and colin stayed to wait for me to go out and join the rest....

later on, we went TM(tampines mall), to meet the others... and we went TOYS'R'US to get b'day present for mandy's sister...


thats weilun....playing with....SPIDER-MAN?!...isnt he alittle tooo old for it???
haha....

anyways,later in the evening... dey followed me back to mie condo...and we separated...i went hme, dey went to roy's huse??? idk... anyways, i went hme changed into a skinnys and tee, and i went to changi airport to fetch my dad who went for a business trip overseas....i met my mum first....and when my dad came along...we had dinner at mac...i surprised my mum by finishing the WHOLE mac meal...plus 4mcwings...
then we went hme and blahblahblah...i watch my dad unpack, i took a bath and went to bed....

-saturday-
i went to cut hair....again..haha..
yeah...i had both lunch and dinner at hme...
nothing interesting....

-sunday-
i woke up, found sme messages...which i quickly replied to dem...
1 of dem....was asking me to go out for drinks
and the one sent at 12.19am was informing me about a fight my frens were involved around koven...
and the 3rd and 4th ones were sent by weilun telling me that afew was admitted to the hospital,while the others were caught by the police....
the last, was A.T.'s, hes in hospital and which ward was he at....
by too bad...my mum didnt allow me to go out and i could only contact dem thru the phone....but lucky they were OKAY...
and in the afternoon, we went m'sia.....

-monday-
was still at m'sia...
i dont really want to write bout the trip...they was sooo many thing we did...
i came back at around 7plus....
den my mum got a call telling her that one of my uncle got a stroke.....
anyways i went hme, called a couple of ppl, took a bath and called A.T. then went to bed....

i jus wanna run awayy.

5th post...

forgoten how to smile.....

ok...let me start frm wed...

-wed-
in the morning...started the day wit facebooking and watching some anime series...
then at around 12plus, i went to take a bath to get ready to go for drama...and about 1plus, priya called me to ask me about mie script, and we chatted for awhile, till 1415... hanging up the fone, i changed into mie uni and tied mie hair... i quickly rush out as i was almost late...
i only reach the bus stop at 1442 and i waited fer the bus.... i was SOOO long...i got up mie bus at only 1453, while priya havent even reach Kallang MRT station >>'''
reaching the Aljunied MRT station, i waited for priya for in little longer den she arrived...we rushed to school, but still, we were late and we were still thinking to pon-ing drama, but in the end, we didnt...
and woah...when we walked into the room, how everyone stared!!! IT WAS SOO EMBARRASING! haha. anyways we took our seats at a corner and listened to miss jean...and yipee!!! we might be going for an overseas trip next year!!! anyways we was dismissed early, me and priya commented about a girl who like frm china but too bad she was SG, then we went for lunch then i tag along with her to take bus62 to her place then taking bus80 back...
when i reach hme, i called priya again...and we talked for an hour plus...
i had mie dinner, took a bath, watched TV and.... pretended to sleep..........
at around 1am, when i made sure everyone was asleep, i sneak out for da house!!!
i went to meet some friends, and we went to danny's place... there were lots of 'drinks' and smoking...i surprise them by not touchin on any... i stick to coke..haha. xDDD and at around 4plus...i left his hse wit queenie and cee cee...aaron wanted pei me go hme ones...but i asked him to stay and have fun...i sneaked back to the hse and changed my clothes...then went to bed and fell asleep quickly....

-thurs-
at 9plus, mrs tan called meh... waking me up... >< she asked me to meet her in school at 1630...and i agreed..... i had plans actually... >> but anyways, i on mie laptop while calling priya but she not awake...i continued watching the series and at about 11pius, priya called...she ask me follow her go pierce ear...but tooo bad, my mum dont allow...she say next wk coz im grounded... anyways i continued watchin the show...and then at 1plus, i took a bath and went downstairs to get smth from my friend...i changed, and blow dry mie hair...it was alr 1500...i repacked mie things into a smaller bag and tied my hair...i packed mie things properly and went out......without an umbrella. good thing it wasnt raining heavily and i walked in the rain...and went i reached the bus stop, my bus came....but in the end i reach school tooo early...i waited in the dark for mrs tan and the others...sooner than i knew, theodora, qianhui and jeanette came and we waited for mrs tan tgt...
mrs tan then came and we talked about the preparation for the class BBQ party...
dora and qianhui left first and at 5:45pm, me and jeanette left tgt...we both waited for bus80........then blahbalhblah
i reach hme, called A.T., talked for a while... i changed and when to fry chicken wings for dinner...but in the middle of frying, i got scalded by the hot oil...><''' so pain lors...the second time it went to my face...ugh!!!! anyways,i finish cooking and i went to take a bath....my mum came hme and we took our dinner tgt......den we watch TV tgt and i took a bath again... and i went to bed early.......

im gonna go crazy

4th official post.

i jus want to b happy,even if i can't,
i have to motherfucking force a smile...

-0730-
i woke up early as usual...called A.T. while turning on mie laptop....talked on the fone for about 4hrs or soo...den facebook for awhile, checked my mails, watch one of my favorite drama series: tao hua xiao mei...coz i missed one episode...it was quite good...jiro wang ish hot as usual.

-1155-
i went to take a bath...and den pick up NEW MOON,one of the twilight series to read...i read it for like the 4th time but couldnt get tired of it...it was soo romantic and... interesting.

-1340-
brandon came over...he bought PIZZA!!!
so we ate lunch tgt...chat a little while...den he left to meet his gf...
den POOR ME left alone.... T_T haha
anyways i watched pi li mit...it was cool...starring Aaron Yan frm fahrenheit...he ish sooo cute...

-1606-
i sooo BORED...UHH!!!
BABAII PEEPOS...
sorries today was a BORING day...so theres nothing much to write about...><''

jus shaddup and watch.

MY 3rd official post

if only yoo understood how i feel...

-friday-
okieess...starting frm friday evening...
i was as usual late...dey were all waiting fer me.... xxP
DEN we went to eat SUSHI!!! xDDD







den i went home at 2045...took a bath, chat a little wit A.T.,den pack mie bags and got ready everything ready for the m'sia trip the next day...i bought like sooo many clothes...tht mie bagpack was sooo big and fat and it looked like it wud explode anytime >>'''
i bought like 3shorts, 1skinnys tht i didnt even wear, 1pack of flip fops, 4tees, a towel and 1set of pj...oso mie undergarments, sun-block lotion, insect-repellent, a bag of accessories, mie hat and a jacket......
after finishing packin' which was around 2225... i watched a LITTLE TV...for about 2hrs or sooo...den i went to bed...

-sat-
its started well and ended badly...the day turned out REALLY BAD....
i woke up like 0400...soooo early...no one was up YET...so i went back to bed...but it took soooo long to go back to sleep....soon it was 0620...i went to take a long bath...dan check mie bags again... i actually forgot mie comb and swimsuit... anyways yeah...we left the hse at around 0715...mie dad den went to pump petrol den we went to fetch my aunt.......before going to the custom... we went mac and meet up wit my 'ah beng' cousin, zx(his initials) and his parents...den we went off...the SG custom jammed for about 20mins or soo...and at the M'SIA custom,it for about 30mins....as soon as we past the immigration...we went to meet the rest of the family...and we went to eat dim sum...it cost like 60 SG dollars...quite cheap looking at the amount we ate... xD

we den went to jusco for some shopping...there were 6families in total...we then split up...me and parents tgt wit my other cousins, arron and benedict and their parents...went shopping tgt, we went topshop,topman,etc.,etc...(tooo many shops) and den we went to the arcade to find zx...but he not there...anyways later on...we split up again to find own lunch...at 1530, we went to the resort to check in and then went to our rooms to pack up...and woah~ the room was totally awesome...

we rested till 1615, den mie cousins came and asked me if i want to go swimming...and yeah,i agreed...i quickly changed and meet dem outside mie room...as we was taking the lift down...just me and mie cousins... i suddenly found out tht out of the 5boys... im the only GIRL... Oo...i made a remark and they all laughed...but anyways we had fun and as usual...i was bullied but there was once, while i was swimming, zx jumped on me, i was so shocked and pissed that i shouted "yoo where not happy ahas?!" he was like sooo shocked...haha...his face was uber funny...

after swimming, we went back to our own rooms to change and take bath...
den we met up at 1915 at the lobby to go take our dinner, we went to this chinese restaurant and ate fried noodles, hor fun, fried rice,etc etc...my cousin den asked mie dad if he wants more noodles but suddenly he jus flare up for dunnoes wadd reason...there was like silence at the table for a few mins...he den walk away frm the table...i den started to play games on mie cousin's iphone....

laters on,we all went to zx's room for smth like a family gathering...my mum went up to get mie dad down...i was listening to music..and suddenly the door opened,i looked up and saw mie mum looking very angry she came in and stood in the livin room and said tht they fought and my dad wants a divorce...i couldnt believe mie ears..a mixture of different types of emotions overwhelmed me...anger, sadness, disappointment...i immediately pass the iphone back to mie cousin... and wore mie shoes to get ready to go upstairs to confront him...i was immediately stopped by my mum.........(i prefer not going to details, but i think they are alright nows)...

anyways the next day,.......
-sunday-
at least he tried to talk to mum nicely...
anyways we went to a seafood restaurant to have our lunch...there was soo much food...claypot tofu, chilli crab, steam fish, fried kangkong, fried deer meat, and more....i was soooo full...
anyways aft lunch we went back to SG...we reach hme about 1640...and about 1930, we had instant noodles fer dinner...

-mon-
nicole, my little sis's bday... (:
the clique and i was suppose to meet up at mie place to go swimming...but too bad...smth cropped up...and plans were changed.. xoxo
anyways i went to mie uncle's hse...etc etc
den at 1910 we sing b'day song, den blow cake, cut cake.....
we den went hme...
reaching hme at around 1940...i watched the last samurai while on the fone wit A.T. den at 2135 i went to take a bath......then like every other day...i watched TV again...then went to bed.....

when your tears are dried frm crying an yout world kinda silent...

one of MY faves.

BY2-Dont Go Away(eng version)

looking thru your eyes, theres nothin' to hide
and you're no longer mine
how could i survive, when you say goodbye
why do birds still fly up high?
cant stop my tears frm fallin'
we used to be so fine when you walked into my life
i tried to reach out for you, just to be with you
my heart is breakin'

don't,don't go away
baby don't you know i miss you so
don't don't go away
i've never been on my own before
woah~~~~~

cant you hear me just take me with you
so don't, don't go away

don't don't go away
baby dont you know i miss you so
i never been on my own before
so won't you feel my heartbeat once more

2nd official post xDDD

"love is...givin someone the power to break yur heart, but trusting them not to"

-1031-
haha...i like sooo crazy.........(some inside joke xDDD)
anyways...yeah...im writing again, jus finish webcaming wit A.T.


but nows...im SOOO BORED...

-1436-
laters going out to eat hotpot with mie niece and cee cee too... xDDD
btws as wadd i predicted, my mom grounded me, but ONLY for 2WEEKS :p
hmmmm...i think im still allowed to go for drama and my class outing???

-1824-
im going out soooon...but still talking on fone with A.T.
A.T. ish cming along tooo (:
we gonna have sooo much FUN!!!
but we're not gonna eat hotpot le...maybe japanese food or sumthing...
anyways i gtg... babaii peepos (((:

bet you never thought tht i could break yoo?

1st official post... xDDD

one step forward, two steps back.

-1430-
have been using the com since 0730... if i continue this way, i bet im going to fall sick and my laptop ish going to die...i haf been sleeping at 3am and waking up at different intervals...i dunnoes why...maybe its becoz of the same image of a boy covered in blood screaming in agony...idk...just freaking weird.

-1549-
but i cant stop frm worrying...for A.T. he got into a fight again...last night.and till now...not called or msg me...he asked me not to help or do anything...i feel soo useless,i cant just sit back and watch him get hurt...i dont understand why must there be fights...not that i dont admit that SOMETIMES i get into fights too...but NOT THAT much...if he was hurt, the person ish gonna be sooo DEAD.

-1830-
OKIE...he called me.and we wen out to settle some stuff.well the stuff didnt turn out right,in fact it turned out REALLY wrong...i dont noe why??? we went to meet some ppl and i got scolded in da face, i was like "WTF,wadds tht guy's prob" and a fight broke out...wadd am i suppose to do?!

anyways yeah,got into a fight...i hit someone with a glass bott,another one wit a chair and it became confusing... ><'

i was totally tired as i wrote this blog...but anyways it started as fast as it ended, i totally dont noe how it stopped too...blur like sotong.as long i noe...i sooo dead wen mie mum cm bac.......wit that awful bruise coming up on mie skin...i guess i could predict wadds shes gonna say... >>'' A.T. was like "omg, i wondered wadds yur mum gonna say..." while rubbing ointment...but he was worse off lors...still say me.. xoxo

it wasnt mie fault...not entirely...bet she gonna ground meh... but looking on the bright side at least i wud have time to plan the class bbq party, more time blogging, and catching up on drama serials... xDDD

anyways, thats all...
babaii (:

yoo love me?
i guess no one does,including you....

everything to be started anew,but somethings couldnt be changed...

i realised i've given up alreadyy..

ookies...loong time since i wrote...

i use to share one...but for personal reasons...i stopped.

and nows...lets begin with some small details bout meh.(not like yoo even car3)

name: joie

date of birth: 03th july

place of birth: SINGAPORE

status: in a relantionship...

<<<<>

anymore...yoo can jus ask me....jus open ur mouth..
iie could be very mean and nasty if you pissed me off..

ands if you hate me then iiem sorry iie cant be perfect......
but then again why should i try to please someone(you)?


- Updated at 2.36am -

lets start wit MY SAD STORY...my complicated relationship
i finally realised what he had always wanted when i was looking and thinking through the conversations between us.but it was all tooo late...He just wanted us to spend more time tgt...But yea,im kinda the type who wud usually hang out more wit MY frens and not my bf...whos MORE IMPORTANT??? idk thou... but i just wanted to know one thing though .. what the hell happen?! whats the reason for this ending? i haf so so many questions,i want to know what's everything,but he not mine anymore...never ever...i shouldnt be thinking bout him at all.its not fair to A.T.

but it just wouldnt changed the fact that he had hurt me...i want to noe the reason for the breakup...im not being despo but its just that i feel that i have the right to noe...i dont care if its just becoz he haf a new gf or wadd...i want to noe if it was or wasnt my fault, for the breakup...


im really really confused, idk whether i still like him...im tgt wit A.T. and really happy too...but everytime i see or remember sumthing bout him...i wud feel like jus curling up and scream, it was like sumthing breaking inside of me, i jus couldnt breathe, i shouldnt be feeling this way...but maybe it was becoz it reopen the old wound deep inside of me, the wound that was concealed frm everyone eyes, that i haf to pretend that everything ish alright, smile like nothing happen and live like it nvr hurt me...

ever since he broke me, i have been having endless dreams bout the bad incident that affected me much...that i took 8mths to recover frm the shock, but i could never heal completely again, its just like a broken mirror, once broken no matter how yoo fixed it,the cracks will never disappear...the pain was still there,but wen i met him,it got lesser,but the pain was still there...i could feel it i dont tink he noe how much i was suffering...the pain, i made me feel like i could die frm it...he thot he was always there for me, he thot i had gotten over it but hes wrong...

i told him the sad story, the incident that happened... but i dont tink he cared enough or its just tht i had been deceiving myself that he would even care...he just never felt the pain that i was suffering frm, the cuts that i hid frm him, never seen that side that was only known to...me

he used to always want to noe why i even cared for him...but mie reason was simple..."it's because you are my friend"

i still see him, in school,outside of school,its really sad that we became strangers who WERE once in a relationship thinking that NOTHING could break us up, ...and also especially wen my frens asked me why i had suddenly turned pale and walked the other way..just not to see or even pass by him, and if i know him, but all i could say ish i knew him once....


yeah, so comment, talk to me whatever dont worry I dont bite! ii would'nt give a crap of what you think of me,but I can be really friendly if you get to know me.
muacks:)



I Told You That I Loved You. You Once Told Me So As Well. You Say It Doesnt Matter Anymore. It Would Never Work. You Found A New Love. You Dropped It All And Walk Away. Leaving Me To Pick Up The Pieces. You Crushed My Heart In Your Hands. You Laughed At Me. You Thought I Was Pathetic.